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I Can See Through Your Shirt

June 5th, 2016

Fashion has always been a big part of my life.  It’s my hobby.  I love clothes and putting different shapes and styles together to create a look that expresses a mood or personality. Getting dressed every day is a bit of an adventure for me.   What I find challenging as I get older is putting together outfits that are a bit funky and edgy, yet are age appropriate and won’t make my daughters chastise me before running away to hide in shame.

I saw this outfit on Shopbob recently and instantly fell in love.  I had all the pieces in my closet, save for the sheer white shirt (which happens to be sleeveless.)  A hundred dollars solved that problem, and a few days later I was mixing and matching to my heart’s content.antip2004412397_q5_1-1

Here’s the problem.  I love this outfit.  I also love the few other outfits that I created around said sheer shirt.  But I haven’t worked up the nerve to leave the house yet.  I’m no stranger to sheer or lace or tulle or any other diaphanous fabric, but there is something about this particular shirt that is holding me hostage.  I feel like I’m too old to pull this off.  I feel like everyone is going to judge me for trying to be…what?…too young?…too sheer?…too queer?  I’m no stranger to fundamentally not caring what other people think or say about me, so what is it about this damn shirt?

I have been wearing it proudly around the house, and peeking saucily from the confines of a dark cashmere sweater when I venture out of doors, but so far I haven’t have the courage to own the look.  And I’m not sure why.  I’ve considered putting a camisole underneath, but it felt like a cop out.  I mean if you’re going to wear sheer, you should rock it, right?  But after a certain age, sheer just isn’t going to make it past the fashion police.  Which I guess begs the question:

At what point in our adult lives do we lose our fashion edge?  Or is it losing our edge in general?Screen Shot 2016-04-11 at 1.54.08 PM

If I don’t have the courage to express myself with my wardrobe choices, does that mean that I am beginning to lose the confidence to express myself in other areas of my life?  Will I find myself staying silent when someone drops an inappropriate bomb at a dinner party, or will I refrain from writing what I really feel because I’m afraid of offending my audience?

As we age it seems there is an inverse relationship between what we put on our bodies and what comes out of our mouths.  While we may choose to mask the saggy belly and droopy thighs by avoiding sheer and stocking up on Spanx, we begin to revel more of our personalities and true selves with our words and actions.  Our clothing may become more opaque, but our sentiments become less so, which depending on the situation can be either a good or a bad thing…



  • Friday, November 30, 2012 at 10:17 pm
    kbb said:

    wear it. you are gorgeous. you can easily pull this off with some tailored pants. you will look fabulous and chic. and not only that, you will floor everyone with your confidence. and, as we all know, confidence is beauty itself. rock it.

    best of luck with the new blog. it is a great idea, totally relevant to me, and i am excited to see it unfold. thanks so much. kbb

  • Tuesday, December 18, 2012 at 6:20 am
    Jodi said:

    I can totally relate to this post. I went through this with mini-skirts a couple of years ago. I still have them and want to wear them and can totally pull them off but wonder if I should not? I love the shirt. I say wear it. just do it and enjoy it! jls.

  • Wednesday, April 17, 2013 at 11:46 am
    La Fille Anonyme said:

    Hmmm, I’ve just gotten to a similar point in life – where ‘fashion’ seems to need a bit of editing to be ‘me-appropriate’ – I love this look and say go ahead and rock it!

    If you’re lucky enough to have the abs for it, def wear the look as shown all summer long – especially at ‘private’ events (rooftop parties, sailing with friends, dates etc) and in the evening..

    If you’ll be out and about in the daytime, or at an event that is really ‘public’ or with mixed ages – well, I personally don’t want to be eye-candy for my friends’ 15y/o sons, haha! – take it down a smidge with La Perla’s “Sexy Town Bustier” or Va Bien USA’s “Marquis Strapless Basque” in white or black. They are elegant base layers, and keep things a little more PG-13 while letting you ‘shine through’, as it were…

    Looking forward to your next Fashion Finds! -LFA

  • Tuesday, June 7, 2016 at 10:26 am
    Wally said:

    All of us that read your blog can agree that you are not losing your edge! Like most of us, you seem to be getting edgier and less inhibited as you get older. As for the see through shirt, i’m not old enough as a man to comment on that one as i’d like to, and suffer the slings and arrows of your fellow readers. Give me another 10 years of losing my inhibitions though…..

  • Wednesday, June 15, 2016 at 8:12 am
    Jen said:

    I’ve not seen the connection before, but I think you are onto something. I’m much more open in my writing now, but feel a bit awkward in the cage pumps and minis (perhaps it’s because the last time I appeared at the school yard in my jacked up outfit, my son looked at me, shook his head, and walked back into the school!)

  • Thursday, June 23, 2016 at 3:35 pm

    I have a sheer, white blouse… Anne Fontaine, and yes, I wear a cami underneath. I bought it to wear to a NYC party where all of the supermodels, photographers, makeup artists, and stylists were attending. Many of these well-known faces are my age, or older, and have fabulous figures. All of them are edgy, but I could tell, they wouldn’t have worn my blouse without a cami. Their look is elegant edgy. Your photo in this post is just that. Great necklace, blazer without a cami. Brenda

  • Saturday, July 9, 2016 at 9:07 am

    All your blogs speak to me on a real gut level. This one was close to my heart. I find myself editing my fashion choices now, thinking, “Is this Age Appropriate?” I am feeling stifled creatively and in life…..Funny that.

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